The ER.

It’s April 13th - 11:01pm. My stomach is in knots. It all started on Thursday- April 11th. I was called in for Jury Duty. It was the first time I had ever been called. I was there from 7:45am till 5:00pm. I was having a pretty good day until I found out that my Dog became suddenly ill. I rushed home to find him lethargic. Drooling and vomiting blood. And I mean bright red, pools of blood. My Husband and I panicked and rushed Maverick to the ER. We stayed all night. From 10pm till 7am. I spent a day in court and all night at the ER. It took the doctors forever to get our Dog sedated. He is terrified of the vet and wont allow anyone to touch him. Muzzle and all. He kicked. Fought himself to stay awake and continued to vomit blood at the hospital. I was beside myself. Crying and shaking. I really thought, this is it. I’ve had this Dog for 3 amazing years and now it appears he’s dying. We prayed for God to heal him. We prayed he would fall asleep. It wasn’t until 4am he finally went under a deep sleep. Doctors did what they could. X rays. Blood drawn. Based on all their tests, they figured he either overheated or maybe ate something that didn’t agree with him.

My mind was racing. I’ve had this healthy Dog for 3 years. How could this happen to him? I had people with all kinds of ideas….

What if he was poisoned? By whom? And why? We just moved into this new house just 2 weeks ago. We have a fenced in private yard. My family went on and on, trying to pin point the initial cause. We still don’t know. I feel uneasy. Scared. Anxious. Guilty. You name it. I feel awful. This is my Baby. I do everything I can to keep him safe and happy. I only walk him in the early mornings. He always has water. I always tell him to take a break from playing outside. 3 years. Why would this happen now??????

It’s enough to make you crazy. I’ve had this sick feeling for the last 2 days. My heart aches. The first night we left him at the Hospital, I cried myself to sleep. Hugging one of his favorite stuffed toys. My Husband was crying too. We felt helpless.

What if he’s never the same again? What if this is congenital? Are we responsible in some way?

While he recovered in the ER, I went into super cleaning mode back home. I mopped the entire house. Checked every corner of it. No sign of roach or rat bait from the previous owner. I went to the backyard and saturated every plant, every inch with tons of water. Checked everything. I even checked our fruit trees. All safe for Dogs. What the hell happened to him?

Maverick was sent home today at 5pm. We have medication and a new diet plan to follow for the next 5 days. We will do everything we can to make sure this never happens again. Our eyes are super open. Could it have been our next door neighbor causing harm? A random stranger? We always have eyes on him…..how would anyone even get near him???? Or was it just a bad diet gone horribly wrong in his intestines? I guess we will never know. I just have to trust in God and respect the fact he brought my Dog home safely. He is slowly recovering. Still very groggy from the sedation. He hasn’t eaten yet and I am keeping the Faith. I just need to be patient.

I cried so much and still feel the urge to burst into tears. My mind and body are just broken. Seeing him bleed that much and then hooked up to machines. I wasn’t prepared. 2 days without him in this house. It was tough.

While I write this blog, he is sleeping with his Daddy on our bed. Of course I can’t sleep. I just want to be available in case he needs to pee or drink some water or eat a little canned food. I want to be there for him until he is completely sleeping peacefully. I check on him constantly. Yup, he’s still breathing. At one point, he came out of the room holding the stuffed toy that I slept with the other night, in his mouth. It made me smile. That’s my Boy.

I always knew I loved my Dog. But I’m telling you. The amount of tears I have shed have been astounding. I just had to write tonight. I had to get this all off my chest. I feel sad, happy and bitter. I know he is going to be okay. I just need to keep the Faith.

It’s finally midnight. Officially April 14th. Time for bed. Good night.

“It is not the Mountain we conquer but ourselves” - Edmund Hillary