I was a big fan of the flash back pics. Seeing what I did or said 5 years ago this day.
Looking at all the fun I had. Such a beautiful recollection of parties and vacation trips. But let’s face it. Sometimes those flashbacks sting.
You may see a person/pet who is no longer with us. A friend you no longer talk to anymore. An old apartment that triggers a bad time in your life.
For me, its hard to go back in time. I think it’s because I have grown so much. I changed the way I think and react to things.
Looking back is a reminder of an immature version of myself. I tend to say that a lot. But its true. I was in fact, very immature.
And although past conflicts have formed the “New” me. It’s still hard to see what I did and said 5 - 10 years ago. Total cringe.
I know I should forgive myself. I am trying to give myself a break but it will take time. A lot of time.
Not only was I obsessed with the past memories online, I used to stalk everyone’s page. What they posted. What they said. Who is divorcing who? Why this person is depressed. ALL the drama. I was drawn to it. Until it got me into trouble. I lost friendships for being stupid. See what I mean? Very immature.
I finally stopped and now I only use social media to stay connected to a very small circle. I mind my business. I don’t read into cryptic posts. I don’t look up their pages. Someone is divorced and dating someone new???? I don’t even ask about it. I don’t want to lose another Friendship over stupidity.
So for now – I completely ignore the flashback section of my Facebook page. I only focus on today and tomorrow. It’s the only way I can heal from my past mistakes. I do still post for my personal pleasure. I don’t care who likes it. I don’t care who unfollows me. I don’t care what people think.
I stay connected to those who matter. The ones who support me 100% and have been there this whole time.
Those are the people who matter.
