Booster

I have an appointment today to get my Covid booster. It’s been more than a year and I think its the perfect time before Fall kicks in. I’m feeling very down today. I shouldnt. It’s Friday. I have a weekend of nothing planned so I should be happy. Whatever side effects I’ll feel from this booster, I know I can stay home and ride it out. But I still feel bummed. Numbed. I popped a prozac this morning. I should hopefully perk up a little by the weekend.

Still waiting for our house to sell and we MIGHT have a buyer. Not 100% sure. I almost dont want to say it out in case I jinx it. I have this feeling its going to take a lot longer than I had anticipated (living with my Mother). I might be living at my Moms house for the rest of 2023. I miss my space. I miss my decorations. I miss my old life. I really don’t want to get an apartment. I have a big dog and he loves my Moms backyard. My Dog is happy. It’s my Husband who is struggling. I am somewhere in the middle. Some days Im okay. Other days I want to scream. But my Husband looks like hes about to pack up his bags and divorce me. Our lives have been turned upside down and its taking longer than we expected. I know this all sounds very dramatic and selfish. But its just how I feel. We have lived alone for almost 20 years with complete privacy. Now we are sharing a space with 2 other people and 1 bathroom. It’s unbearable at times.

So I’ll go get my booster, finish the afternoon and go home to crash. This can’t be what life is all about? Feeling depressed and complaining constantly. It’s so unhealthy. But I have to focus on the positive. I have a good job. I’m tough. And I’m not crying. That’s the most important to me. If I’m not crying, then I know I am okay. Praying our house sells before September.